Rev Dr Jude


Review My Books FREE!!!
September 29, 2010, 5:54 pm
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Dear Friends, Yes, it is true!
Please, request your review copy FREE by toll free phone or email!

1 888 280 7715 Extension 5299

pressreleases@authorhouse.com

Write a review of any one of my 6 books for TV, Radio, Newspaper or even Social Networks, like Amazon.com!  Thanks!




A First for Obama on Poverty!
September 25, 2010, 12:15 pm
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Ask your representative to reform our foreign aid laws and protect a critical aspect of President Obama’s new policies.

Last month, thousands of activists like you called on President Obama to create a new strategy to end global poverty. Our team was at a big poverty summit in New York this week delivering the message in person – and guess what happened?

President Obama just announced a sweeping new effort called the US Global Development Strategy – a first for any president!

But it must be renewed every four years – meaning with every new administration, the lives of poor people could hang in the balance.

We’re pushing Congress to change that by turning key parts of this new strategy into federal law – and we need them to act before their session is up. Can you help?

Make sure President Obama’s new strategy on foreign aid stands for administrations to come – email your House representative now!

There’s already a bill in the US House that would reform US aid to other countries and make sure key parts of Obama’s plan are safe for years to come. But it won’t move if the House doesn’t think it has the support to pass – and while nearly a third of the House has already co-sponsored this bill, your House representative hasn’t yet signed on.

And we don’t have a minute to waste. The current law on US foreign aid has been on the books for 50 years. It’s grossly out of date and doesn’t address the needs of modern poverty. The bill being considered by the House will reform the way the US handles foreign aid, turning a key element of the Global Development Strategy into law and preventing it from being changed with each new administration.

That’s why we need more representatives to co-sponsor this reform bill and show the White House, Congress and the world that they’re serious about real solutions for global poverty.

Urge your House representative to co-sponsor this crucial piece of legislation before the end of the year.

President Obama’s new Global Development Strategy goes beyond giving aid in times of need. It takes a multifaceted approach to ending poverty – utilizing diplomacy, revamping trade and investment policies, reforming our foreign aid policies and partnering with governments, NGOs and the private sector.

This new initiative can help millions of poor people lift themselves out of poverty. But if it isn’t made into law, it could disappear in a few years.

Make sure the new policies on global poverty stand the test of time – email Congress today!

Thanks to you, we’ve scored a critical victory in our efforts to secure real, lasting solutions for lifting people out of poverty. And I know that, with your help, we’ll succeed in this latest endeavor.

Thank you for your support.

Sincerely,

Raymond C. Offenheiser
Board of Directors
Oxfam America Advocacy Fund



2010 Darwin awards
September 24, 2010, 2:20 pm
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8th Place: In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

7th Place: A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who “totally zoned when he ran”, accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

6th Place: While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

5th Place: Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was robbing. Death was caused when the long flash light he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free, rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

4th Place: Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

3rd Place: After walking around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into Florida’s H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONORABLE MENTION: Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 a.m. So they lit a stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed!

RUNNER UP: Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 a.m. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman’s cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham’s leg and then tied the other (!) to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham’s foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS…
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves ‘shit happens’!



Borowitz Report
September 24, 2010, 1:46 pm
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AUGUST 23, 2010
Poll: One out of Five Americans Do Not Believe Obama Exists
‘Existers’ Movement Gathers Steam

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In what might be the most serious challenge to Barack Obama’s legitimacy as President, a new poll shows that one out of five Americans are not convinced that Mr. Obama exists.

The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, reveals that 23 percent of those surveyed “strongly agreed” with the statement, “I believe that Barack Obama’s birth was faked, just like the moon landing.”

The poll results coincide with the recent rise of the so-called “Exister” movement, a group who believes that Mr. Obama is an optical illusion created by the Democratic Party to raise taxes and bail out banks.

“The Birthers say that Obama’s lack of a birth certificate means he was born in Kenya,” says Jerrilene Rance, a leading Exister. “We believe it’s proof that he was never born.”

Ms. Rance says that while President George W. Bush was criticized for disappearing every August, “Obama is never there to begin with.”

Appearing Sunday on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky) made comments about Mr. Obama’s existence that only stoked the controversy.

“I’ve spoken to him face-to-face, and I take him at his word that he exists,” he said. “Unless of course I was talking to a hologram.”

At the White House, spokesman Robert Gibbs brushed aside a question about the President’s existence, saying that Mr. Obama had “no comment.”

Exister leader Jerrilene Rance offered this response: “The reason he has no comment is that he has no mouth.”



More Word Humor
September 22, 2010, 2:18 am
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Two doctors, a psychiatrist and a proctologist, opened an office in a small
town and put up a sign reading:

> “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors.”
>
> The town council was not happy with the sign, so the doctors changed
> it to read, “Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.”
>
> This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy The council, they
> changed the sign to “Catatonics and High Colonics.” No go.
>
> Next, they tried “Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives.” Thumbs down again.
>
> Then came “Minds and Behinds.” Still no good.
>
> Another attempt resulted in “Lost Souls and Butt Holes.” Unacceptable
> again!
>
> So they tried “Analysis and Anal Cysts.” Not a chance.
>
> “Nuts and Butts?” No way.
>
> “Freaks and Cheeks?” Still no go.
>
> “Loons and Moons?” Forget it.
>
> Almost at their wit’s end, the doctors finally came up with: “Dr.
> Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends.”
>
> Everyone loved it.



Support Human Rights in West Papua!
September 21, 2010, 11:54 am
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Sample e-mail and talking points:

Dear Rep. xxxx,

1. The U.S. Department of State, UN investigators and human rights
organizations have documented threats to freedom of expression and
dire prison conditions in the Indonesian provinces of West Papua and Papua.

2. The government of Indonesia must demonstrate its commitment to
freedom of expression by releasing people convicted for peacefully
expressing their political views, improving prison conditions, and
allowing access to the International Committee of the Red Cross.

3. The U.S. Congress needs to be a strong advocate for human rights
in Indonesia and elsewhere. Representative Kennedy’s resolution is an
opportunity for members to express their commitment to the rule of
law and freedom of expression in Indonesia. This can only strengthen democracy.

4. The Congressmember can support human rights by co-sponsoring House
Resolution 1355 by contacting Dan Murphy in Rep. Patrick Kennedy’s office.